Make Some Space

Sometimes we become so occupied with what needs to be done, held together, understood or endured that we lose contact with a simpler question:

What would I actually love?

Not what makes sense. Not what is expected. Not what you already know how to make happen.

What would you love?

You don’t need to answer it yet. These are five small invitations to make some room.

Can You Give the Question Space?

Are you allowing yourself to identify what you’d really love? What do you need? What does your environment need to be? Can you listen to the part of you that may already know where you need to go — so that you have enough space to even identify what it is that you truly desire?

What Goes Against Your Grain?

What feels wrong in your life right now? What do you keep doing that leaves you feeling as though you’re in the wrong place, doing the wrong thing? What is not in alignment? What are you yearning for? And what hunch have you already had about it?

Just Notice It

Sometimes what we do isn’t really about what we want. It’s about what we’ve learned we need to do to stay safe. Those patterns can be old. You don’t have to understand all of them today. For now, just notice. Are you keeping yourself small? Smaller than what you really are? If so, why might you be doing that? How has it benefited you? What might be the hidden benefit?

Keep Something Open

You don’t have to know how your life could change. You don’t even have to completely believe that it will. For now, see if you can keep something open. One small place in you that doesn’t already know what is possible.

Lay It Down

Feel how much this means to you. And then, perhaps, stop trying to determine exactly how it has to happen. Call it God. Creative energy. A higher power. Something within you. Something beyond you. Whatever language belongs to you. What would happen if you could surrender the dream without surrendering your desire for it?

What Becomes Possible When There Is Room?

You may not need to do anything with what came up here. A question can remain a question. A hunch can remain a hunch. Something you noticed can simply be noticed. But sometimes, once we have made enough room to hear ourselves, something becomes difficult to unsee. A role we’ve been playing. A way we’ve learned to stay safe. A life that has become smaller than the one we can feel asking to be lived. That is where another kind of inquiry can begin.

The Role You Called Love

Leaving Codependence Without Losing Yourself

Coming next.